XSAPPHIRE

Just spent the last half an hour browsing through old photos of a skinner and younger looking me. Darn, the yearly addition of chubbiness to my face is undeniable. It still feels awfully surreal that a good/bad 3 years of my university life has been spent mostly in Perth. People whom i used to hang out with everyday are now just….. people. Everything has changed so much. This calls for a reflective post……. after folio is done! no sleep tonight. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. 

Just spent the last half an hour browsing through old photos of a skinner and younger looking me. Darn, the yearly addition of chubbiness to my face is undeniable. It still feels awfully surreal that a good/bad 3 years of my university life has been spent mostly in Perth. People whom i used to hang out with everyday are now just….. people. Everything has changed so much. This calls for a reflective post……. after folio is done! no sleep tonight. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the weak. 

Ephesians 3:14-21

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom wevery family1 in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to xthe riches of his glory yhe may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit zin your inner being, 17 aso that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being brooted and cgrounded in love, 18 may have strength to dcomprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and eheight and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ fthat surpasses knowledge, thatgyou may be filled with all hthe fullness of God.

20 iNow to jhim who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, kaccording to the power at work within us, 21 lto him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

/Nov 2011 So i’m just going to pop in a concise summary of how my week(s) has been. Such an insane mad rush of projects, of getting to know mr penknife better with countless cutting of strawboards, of crying in frustration using autocad….. the week has been terrible. I’ve been feeling awfully frustrated and anxious about everything lately. With folio coming up in less than 2 weeks time and the lack of certainty in some areas, i’m honestly getting extremely worried. Much as i’ve been fearful of this inadequacy, i think the devotions have been such a good reminder on focusing on God instead of this current problem. I guess i’ve always been one to take flight encountering issues and reality, but i need to live in the waking Now times, not in the past and not even in the future. I can take heart for better things ahead in the future but that should not be lived for in the present. The one thing i often fail to realise about the past and future is that it is in a distance. Whether i am yearning to delve back into the past’s familiarity or hoping to skip the few years ahead of struggling, there will always be an astounding distance. A distance i will not be able to reconcile because i am in the Now. I am in this time of 1154am where reality kicks in. Where i sit in the comfort of my (horribly messy) room learning that i will never be satisfied unless i consider what i have now. Sometimes the same dangerous thought flits in my mind. The dappling temporary sunlight a winter night experiences and then it simply vanishes. June, july, august. I foresee a looming period of heading back and settling into the harshness of a lost cause/a new found hope. I probably sound contradictory but i do need to reconcile these two ideas. The difficulty in accepting that the permanence of the past staying in the past. For now, these 2 weeks are going to be hell but i will press on in hopefully a happier shade of pink because i think this frustration of not achieving this goal i believe i can easily attain is honestly causing a sense of inner dread of failure and anxiety. I think i’m talking about alot of things at the same time right now. Alright, pray and take heart babies, 2 more weeks and school’s out!

/Nov 2011

So i’m just going to pop in a concise summary of how my week(s) has been. Such an insane mad rush of projects, of getting to know mr penknife better with countless cutting of strawboards, of crying in frustration using autocad….. the week has been terrible. I’ve been feeling awfully frustrated and anxious about everything lately. With folio coming up in less than 2 weeks time and the lack of certainty in some areas, i’m honestly getting extremely worried. Much as i’ve been fearful of this inadequacy, i think the devotions have been such a good reminder on focusing on God instead of this current problem. I guess i’ve always been one to take flight encountering issues and reality, but i need to live in the waking Now times, not in the past and not even in the future. I can take heart for better things ahead in the future but that should not be lived for in the present. The one thing i often fail to realise about the past and future is that it is in a distance. Whether i am yearning to delve back into the past’s familiarity or hoping to skip the few years ahead of struggling, there will always be an astounding distance. A distance i will not be able to reconcile because i am in the Now. I am in this time of 1154am where reality kicks in. Where i sit in the comfort of my (horribly messy) room learning that i will never be satisfied unless i consider what i have now. Sometimes the same dangerous thought flits in my mind. The dappling temporary sunlight a winter night experiences and then it simply vanishes. June, july, august. I foresee a looming period of heading back and settling into the harshness of a lost cause/a new found hope. I probably sound contradictory but i do need to reconcile these two ideas. The difficulty in accepting that the permanence of the past staying in the past. For now, these 2 weeks are going to be hell but i will press on in hopefully a happier shade of pink because i think this frustration of not achieving this goal i believe i can easily attain is honestly causing a sense of inner dread of failure and anxiety. I think i’m talking about alot of things at the same time right now. Alright, pray and take heart babies, 2 more weeks and school’s out!

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

—Proverbs 13:12